Personal Purity

The young women lesson I taught on sunday was on personal purity. Here are the highlights:

Thunderous applause filled the concert hall. One of the world’s greatest violinists had just completed his final selection of the evening’s program. Eagerly, a woman made her way to the stage in hopes of expressing her admiration to this great artist. Threading her way through the crowd, she finally reached him. Shaking his hand, she said exuberantly, “Oh, I’d give my life if I could play like that!” He promptly responded, “Madam, I have!”

Much of what we do or do not do in life is determined by our ability to discipline ourselves. This discipline includes doing things that are hard or difficult as well as not doing other things.

“One of the false notions of our society is that we are victims of our appetites and passions. But the truth is that the body is controlled by the spirit which inhabits it.” ~Terrance D. Olson

Some things about our bodies are easy to control, and others are more difficult. For example, we have good control over our fingers. If we tell one of our fingers to bend, it bends. If we tell it to unbend, it unbends. If we give our feet an order, they obey immediately. Suggest that we can also learn to choose which thoughts we will entertain, and thus learn to channel our thoughts in positive, constructive directions.

Many people do not believe they can control their thoughts and discipline themselves. But our minds can concentrate on only one thought at a time. We can exert control over our thoughts by choosing to think a different one. Some feel this kind of discipline is unnecessary, too difficult, or not worth the effort.

“Some become enslaved with compulsive habits or yield to appetites or to improper actions, and plead that they are helpless before their habit—that they are compelled, persuaded; that temptation was stronger than their will to resist. But we can choose. … We can break bad habits; we can acquire good habits; we can choose what we think by the sheer determination to do so.” ~Richard L. Evans

Acknowledge that it is hard to control ourselves, but it is something we can learn to do. Our Father in Heaven has told us to keep our thoughts, appetites, and emotions within certain bounds. As our Father, he would not ask us to do something that we are not capable of doing. We are his children. We have the capacity to become like him.

Whether we are learning to play a musical instrument, trying to control our temper, or making ourselves get up when we would rather sleep longer, our efforts to discipline ourselves in any aspect of our lives can help us in our efforts to live a virtuous life.

“A missionary serving in the eastern United States was confronted by a college student who was less interested in the [gospel] message than in the missionary’s strict moral code. The student sneeringly asked the missionary how he controlled his desires when there were so many beautiful girls around, implying that the missionary must not [have normal feelings]. The elder explained: ‘It is not that I am abnormal; it is that I know I am responsible and in charge of mind and body. You think you are helpless in the face of your desires. You think you are a victim of them. I have proven to myself that I am the master of those feelings’. ” ~Terrance D. Olson

Being morally clean and virtuous requires physical restraint and self-control. As we exercise self-discipline, we strengthen our spirit’s control over our body. Our capacity to control ourselves increases every time we make a choice to do it.

Last night Te came home from his support group meeting, and told me that he had acted out saturday night. I was hurt that he hadn't told me about it sooner, but one day is much sooner than what he has managed in the past. I was really sad for him. He felt awful. We talked about how we teach youth to have a plan. Decide now whether you are going to smoke or not, or date before you are 16, then when you are confronted, you have already made your choice and it is much easier to avoid getting into trouble. We talked about how he can decide now what he will do next time it is late at night and he can't sleep. He will wake me up. He's already decided so that next time he doesn't have to think about what he will do.

I remember our counselor said that sometimes relapses will happen, and that is important not to dwell on them so much that it makes it hard to "start over". We're just continuing on.

Te really wants to overcome this. I know he does. It's just not easy.

I was kind of upset for awhile, and immediately after he told me, I had the thought "I don't want to do this again" speed through my mind. I think it's satan trying to make me give up. When I stopped and said a prayer, I realized that the relapse was much less serious than past relapses have been (not that that excuses it), Te didn't get on the computer or turn on the TV, and he told me about it the next day. He could have kept it in and lied to me about it, but he didn't. It's progress.