The Bookmark

One year in college I had a roommate who gave me a bookmark. On the front in big fancy lettering is spelled the word FAITH and below that it says: In the Lord Jesus Christ.

I've used it for years to mark my place in my scripture reading. On the back my roommate wrote "Faith without Fear" and 4 scriptures.

The first is Psalm 27 Here are the first and line lines from that passage:

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Next is 2 Timothy 1:7-8. 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
8 Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;

Third is Ether 12:4. 4 Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

And Last: D&C 27:15-18 I'm not going to post this scripture here since it is longer than the others and can't be taken apart to shorten what I post. It's the scripture that talks about putting on the armor of God.

Te has said that there have been some tough times lately. I was gone wednesday evening and he was home alone. I worried about him after the kids were in bed. He said it was really hard, but he just tried to stay busy. It makes me sad that being alone is so hard for him. I get an evening home alone and I can read or just relax. Wednesday night when I came home he looked angry and worn out.

It isn't easy. I am glad he is still trying. I have been afraid lately that he will decide to stop trying. I don't have any reason to think he would, other then seeing how much it wears him out to be constantly fighting this battle. Good days at work are days where he comes home exhausted from being so busy instead of exhausted from fighting.

I can't live my life in fear of what might happen. When I was thinking about that, I remembered the bookmark. I've never actually gone and looked up each scripture my roommate wrote on the back before. What a comfort it was to read those words. It's funny how something from so long ago, and something so little, can bring peace. I'm doing the best I can to live the way that I know I should. I'm trying to do the little things that I know are so important. I have faith that things will be okay. I have faith that my family will be together forever, so why do I fear?

Fear is a little like sin. You wallow in it, just a bit, and before you know it, you're stuck in so far that you don't see any hope of getting out. I need to do the thing I ask Te to do. When he feels tempted, I want him to pray. He doesn't have to face temptation alone, and I don't need to face fear alone.