My own kind of relapse

This was posted at LDSAR.org on December 5th, 2006.

I kept hoping that it would pass, but it seems to just be getting worse and worse.

My husband is doing really well, I guess. He says he is, and part of me believes him. A little part of me is making up all sorts of stories about what he is lying about.

I hate it. I hate that I am doubting him. I hate that he is viewing it as "my problem" (even though it is- it goes back to the "he owes me" feeling I guess).

I think he is doing okay, and so he doesn't see why he needs to keep telling me every day that he is doing okay. I just feel like I need to hear about constant improvement or something to feel like he's really okay.

I guess I know what needs to change in my own life to get over this relapse that I am having. I need to make time for the things that are really important. I need to have more meaningful prayers and work at strengthening my relationship with Heavenly Father. It's amazing how fast we let ourselves slip away from him.