Feelings of debt?

This was posted at LDSAR.org on November 20th, 2006.

Josh's blog (a post at LDSAR.org) on gratitude made me think of this... For a long time, my husband was so grateful to me for supporting him and loving him even though he had hurt me so much. He was always doing sweet things for me to let me know that he appreciated me.

I know he still is grateful, but I guess it's not reasonable to expect him to be showing that gratitude everyday for the rest of our lives.

Lately it has been hard for me to not bring up his past wrongs (not to him, just in my own mind) when thinking of how I want him to act.

I don't know if that makes sense or not. I know it's not fair for me to expect him to grovel or constantly be doing things to "make up" for hurting me though. I guess I haven't totally forgiven him. I told him that I did, and I really want to, but I'm having a hard time letting go of this feeling that I have some "right" to control him or have certain expectations of him.

How do you overcome that?