Visitors

I noticed there are some new people visiting my blog. Don't be shy, speak up.

I know pornography addiction can be a difficult thing to talk about, but I can't tell you how cathartic it has been for me to be able type out my thoughts and set them free into cyberspace.

I hope that the things I say are helpful to others, and I can guarantee you, that should anyone choose to comment here, It would help me.

It's always nice to be reminded that we are not alone, that other people feel what we feel and struggle with the things we struggle with.

Te forwarded an email to me that one of his brothers had sent to him, and it mentioned his mom feeling really guilty about not preventing pornography addictions in her sons. Here's part of the email I sent her:

I just want you to know that I love you and don't want you to feel responsible. As parents we can always second guess ourselves and think maybe things would have been different if we had done certain things. Maybe they would have, and maybe they wouldn't have. I don't think anyone had any idea of how serious this problem would be back when the internet was new. You were and are a wonderful mother (and grandmother), and I am so thankful for the way you raised Te. He is a good, kind man. He knows how to work hard, and he knows what is right.

He may have problems choosing what is right in this one area, but he knows that it isn't what he wants for his life, and we are working on it (and it's been two months of good days now!).

I just wanted you to know that I do not blame you for Te's problems. I love you and am grateful to be a part of your family.

And part of her reply:

Your note makes me feel so much better. We parents take on so much of our children's grief and problems. I wonder what I should have done differently in raising my family. I contiinue to wonder if I'm doing the right things. I think I did the best I could under the circumstances and given the same set of circumstances, I probably wouldn't do anything differently. So, I guess I did the best I could. Thank you so much for understanding.

Thanks, too, for loving Teague. We couldn't have ordered a better wife for him. You are just what he needs and he does need you. He loves you so much and I know he wants to do what's right. I pray for you both. I pray that your heart will heal and you can feel trust and confidence. I pray that Teague will live worthy of your trust. I know he can do it. I appreciate
your patience with him.

Thanks again for the lovely note. I love you.

I have a really good mother-in-law, and I feel bad that she is dealing with this kind of all at once. When I married Te, I asked her how she had managed to raise so many good, spiritual men, and she said "I was blessed". I still think she was blessed. Her sons are all good men, with varying degrees of a serious problem. It just goes to show, that even "perfect-looking" families have problems. No one is free from pain or sorrow. I am grateful for the gospel that teaches us to hope for what we may not be able to accomplish right now. If we put our trust in our Heavenly Father, he will bless us and help us to reach the things we cannot reach on our own.