Month One

Te and I went to his brothers baby blessing over the weekend. Te couldn't participate in giving the blessing and we actually talked about not going, but decided that we wanted to spend time with the family, and this event would give Te a chance to talk to his parents about it.

I was kind of surprised at how much he told his parents. I thought it would be a "I have this problem and that's why I won't be going up with everyone else to bless the baby" but he told them pretty much everything. His dad was pretty quiet about it, and mostly just said that he was glad Te had so much support to help him. Te's mom cried. I felt bad and kept telling her that things would be okay. I've done my crying over it. I hope to never have to cry over it again. To her though, it was kind of a shock I think.

At church it felt a little strange when the other brothers got up to bless the baby and Te stayed right by me. I'm sure he felt bad. Every time he can't do something because of his addiction, I'm sure it makes him feel bad that he put himself in that situation. One sister in law started to ask him why he wasn't getting up, but I think she remembered pretty fast, and stopped mid-sentence.

Te's dad and a couple of his brothers gave him a priesthood blessing that evening, and that was really nice. His family is being really supportive. They kept telling me "thank you". I guess it was a "thank you for sticking around when life got less than fun" or something. It was nice of them to say, but really, what else would I do? Of course I don't want to deal with this, but we don't get to choose our challenges in life. I love Te, we are a family, so we are dealing with it.

It's been a month of good days now. Some easier than others, but Te talks to me and tells me when he has been tempted. We talk about what he was doing when the temptation came and what he did about it. Last night he was telling me how good it feels to not feel guilty about hiding anything from me. It's a good feeling, for him and for me.