Trying To Heal

Why Me? Why not me. Bad things happen to good people all the time. It's how we deal with the bad things that makes us who we are.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

The light of the body is the eye.

I was gone for a few days this week, and when I got home, I found this email from Te:

Well, as you can tell, I didn’t keep a daily log of my attacks and triumphs. And that is what they were. They were all triumphs. I felt really bad quite few times as I kept on thinking about it and the attacks just kept on getting stronger and stronger. I imagine it was probably the worst that I have had. By the end of each day, though, I was pretty much wasted, so thinking about it going to bed wasn’t very bad. It was bad, though, but I was just too tired. I think one night, [my brothers] called so that got me through most of the night. They got to talking about buying a tire, so I got online and checked out the prices and tires that they had. Well, of course that was a big distraction, especially when they hung up. But I didn’t give way to temptation. I just let it go and turned off the machine.

I did play a computer game one night, but that was it. I didn’t go on the internet, though I was tempted pretty highly to do so. To tell you the truth, I was probably playing with fire. I wasn’t doing anything that was even remotely close to falling, but I wasn’t avoiding the falling situation either. Reading every night helped. I knew that you were reading, even if you weren’t reading the right chapter. That first night was the best. I love the sermon on the mount and those verses in there were really good and meaningful to me. I am not sure if you read what I did, as we talked earlier, but what I read really made me think. “You cannot serve God and mammon.” I am either doing one or the other. It isn’t half way. That was really helpful.

Then your note to me made me smile. Knowing that you were praying for me, and saying that you knew that I could do it. That meant a lot to me. I knew that I was going to miss you, but I didn’t think that I would miss you as much as I did. I really did miss talking to you, having you be there when I got home. I just missed being around you. I love you so much. There was one time, when I said to myself, “You know what? I have been good for so long, I deserve a ‘break’ and just do it for a little bit.” Man, that was one hard one to overcome. But then I thought, “you cannot serve God and mammon.” How true that is.

Anyway, I love you very much. You mean everything to me. I miss you so much and I can’t wait until I get to see you again.

Love
Te


It was hard to be away, and I was really worried about how he would do home alone, but I think I mostly trust him when he said that he did okay.

I went to the temple yesterday, and it was so hard to sit there knowing that Te couldn't be there with me.

While I was away, one of the scriptures I read was 3 Nephi 13:22 The light of the body is the eye; if, therefore, thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. I love that scripture. If we keep our eyes focused on the things of God, we will not be distracted by the things of the world. We will have Heavenly Father's spirit with us, because we have chosen to focus on him. I hope that by focusing on the things of God, Te can have his body filled with light. I hope he can keep his eyes focused on our long-term joy and not be distracted by temptations of temporary satisfaction.

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